Wednesday, May 1, 2013

A scientist has his hypothesis challenged


Anesthetize a mouse completely,
Put it in a frame
Find the bregma discreetly
Coordinates are just a game
Inject a virus
As ethical as Cyrus
DNA I cloned
I may well have been stoned
                                                            Have I been numb or just quiescent?
                                                            Why do the lines of her face shift in my mind?
                                                            How does someone I only imagined actually exist?
                                                            How many of her are there out there?
                                                            During all the time I wasted, she was in the world?
                                                            Why is this gnawing longing so invigorating?
                                                            Will I ever see her again?
              Uncharacteristic lapse in focus         
              Go for a walk and sort it out              
              Familiar hallways are my locus
              Hot coffee calmed by milk spout
              “You don’t make mistakes”
              I know what it takes
              40 new graphs
              Interspersed with laughs  
                                                             Why not just analyze the shit out of this situation?
                                                             Can you bootstrap resample a memory?
                                                             If I tried, could I remember every word we said?
                                                             What do I suppose she’s doing at this very moment?
                                                             Does she organize books by author, title, or color?
                                                             What if they’re kind of just randomly arranged?
                                                             What did her family’s dishes look like growing up?
                                                             Will I ever see her again?

                                             I don’t know why I do the things I do
                                             I don’t know what this career arms race is all for
                                             I don’t know where I’m going
                                             I don’t know if I have anything real to offer
                                             I don’t know how to be responsible
                                             I don’t know if I’m evaluating my life correctly
                                             I don’t know if I can do this alone anymore
                                             I know that she can save me

2 comments:

Unknown said...

You do an excellent job of encapsulating the character of this scientist by revealing his inner thoughts, how he tries to analyze a failed relationship the way he analyzes a scientific problem. This is also highlighted very well in the structure you utilized. Well done.

Jackie Rodriguez said...

I really responded to this. I think you captured well the tension between pursuing a career with blinders on, and then considering the things that might've been sacrificed along the way. My favorite lines begin with "I don't know" because they reflect the uncertainty of being on this journey, but not really knowing where everything is headed. Thanks for your work, Cina.