Anesthetize a mouse completely,
Put it in a frame
Find the bregma discreetly
Coordinates are just a game
Inject a virus
As ethical as Cyrus
DNA I cloned
I may well have been stoned
Have I been numb or just quiescent?
Why
do the lines of her face shift in my mind?
How
does someone I only imagined actually exist?
How
many of her are there out there?
During
all the time I wasted, she was in the world?
Why is this gnawing longing so invigorating?
Will I ever see her again?
Uncharacteristic
lapse in focus
Go for a
walk and sort it out
Familiar
hallways are my locus
Hot coffee
calmed by milk spout
“You don’t
make mistakes”
I know what
it takes
40 new graphs
Interspersed with laughs
Why
not just analyze the shit out of this situation?
Can you
bootstrap resample a memory?
If
I tried, could I remember every word we said?
What
do I suppose she’s doing at this very moment?
Does
she organize books by author, title, or color?
What
if they’re kind of just randomly arranged?
What
did her family’s dishes look like growing up?
Will
I ever see her again?
I don’t know why I do the things I
do
I don’t know what this career arms
race is all for
I don’t know where I’m going
I don’t know if I have anything
real to offer
I don’t know how to be responsible
I don’t know if I’m evaluating my
life correctly
I don’t know if I can do this
alone anymore
I know that she can save me
2 comments:
You do an excellent job of encapsulating the character of this scientist by revealing his inner thoughts, how he tries to analyze a failed relationship the way he analyzes a scientific problem. This is also highlighted very well in the structure you utilized. Well done.
I really responded to this. I think you captured well the tension between pursuing a career with blinders on, and then considering the things that might've been sacrificed along the way. My favorite lines begin with "I don't know" because they reflect the uncertainty of being on this journey, but not really knowing where everything is headed. Thanks for your work, Cina.
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