A Turn for the Verse: Im sorry

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Im sorry

When I started, we were real close...
In fact, we were inseperable.
I would always pay attention and do my best to provide you with what you needed...
Taking care of you brought me peace and made me feel whole.
However, something has changed..
I walk the floors with warm intentions but vitals so cold....
While attending to the health of others....i slowly feel my own energy evaporate
from my insides and settle on the inviting soul of another.....
As my day-to-day joy intensifies from seing the sick rise up again....I begin to feel my insides crumble and cry.
Eyes heavy....muscles weak.....mind seeking solitude......my body turns its back on me.
They may say its too late to apologize....but i still want to say im sorry.
I should have been paying attention to you too.....

3 comments:

Maria Basile said...: Darcie,

I love the line where you "feel my own energy evaporate," and your clever, thoughtful use of ellipsis...
turns this almost into a meditation. Nice poem.; March 18, 2009 at 11:08 AM
lena said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; March 18, 2009 at 11:10 AM
lena said...: oops sorry i deleted my previous post....:-(
just wanted to say that "my body turns its back on me" and "warm intentions but vitals so cold" are both wonderful lines. love the imagery there.; March 18, 2009 at 11:11 AM

Post a Comment

WRITING PROMPTS

Week 4 Uncertainty

Use the phrase, "I Don't Know" as a catalyst for your next poem. You can use it as a theme, as a title, as a first line (or last line). You may not even use the phrase at all and still be writing about it. And yes, Cassidy, you can even say it in French. :) See you Wednesday.

Week 3 Ekphrasis, Art, and Empathy

Pick a visual work of art from the NYU's Art, Literature, and Medicine Database, and reflect, in your poem --What do you see? --What else do you notice? --How does this work make you feel?

Week 2 The Body

Choose a part of the body and describe it.

Describe something being done with or to that part of the body.

Use (and be ready to discuss) simile, metaphor, or other figurative language in your poem.

Week 1 Fever

Think back to your own experience of illness. Recount a particular sickness, accident, surgery, or other anecdote related to your own health. Like Plath, try to describe not what happened, but how it made you feel. Try to write lyrically -- expressing the emotional experience -- rather than literally.

HOW TO READ/COMMENT ON A POEM

I find that reading a poem is like looking at a piece of art, a painting, a sculpture, a movie, or a play. When we read each others' poems we have an opportunity to show appreciation and to help the poem get even better! Try to answer three basic questions, and even if you don't have a lot of experience reading poetry or using any of the lingo, you'll still have much to say.

What do you see?

-- What does the poem look like on the page. What can you say about its structure, form, line lengths?

-- What is the literal meaning of the poem, what is actually happening? How would you say it in your own words?

-- What is the setting of the poem? Where and when?

-- Who is speaking in the poem? What does the speaker want?

What else do you notice?

-- What are the sounds of this poem? Look for lyric devices, such as meter, rhyme, assonance, alliteration, consonance.

-- Look for figuarative language: similes and metaphors, imagery, symbols and allusions. Look up words you don't know or familiar words used in unusual ways.

-- Take longer poems in chunks. Comment on a favorite stanza, line, or word.

-- If there is a part that seems confusing, it's OK to say where you get lost, it may help the poet revise and rework the poem.

-- If there is a part or device that works particularly well, make sure to mention it.

How does it make you feel?

-- Mention how the poem makes you feel. Does it remind you of anything, any time, any place?

-- What is the theme of the poem? Is there a message here?

Always remember to criticize the poem, not the poet.

Have fun, and thank you for sharing your thoughts!

A Turn for the Verse

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Im sorry

3 comments:

Contributors

Blog Archive