Kittens

The week before you died, I knew the end was near
I wanted to believe otherwise because you were so dear
And so I decided to try, to lie, and absolutely deny

You were so weak, you could hardly walk
Could hardly eat
hardly drink

The night before you died, I knew the end was near
I slept on the floor next to you
And I cried in selfish agony when you cried in unadulterated pain

You were so weak, you could barely move
Could barely cry
Barely think

The morning that you died, I knew the end was here
I held you while the doctor said that you’d just go to sleep
I knew it for the lie it was, but prayed you’d be at peace

You weren’t there. You couldn’t breath
Couldn’t blink
Your heart couldn’t even beat

Now every time I see your grave I ask you for forgiveness
I apologize to those who miss you too
I make excuses to your favorite spots

But most of all I’m sorry for finally understanding your disease
And still being unable to do anything but watch you die